Shit Happens – Change is Good

We’re on the brink of more changes than any of us could know about … but here’s one statistic we recently read that is solid and influencing the world in unprecedented ways.

  • 72% of people do NOT want their life to go back to what it was like before the pandemic.


So then, let’s say you do NOT want your life to go back the way it was…

Think about this:

  • What changes have you made to better your life, or even in a broader perspective?

Here’s what I’ve observed, people want change, but don’t know what to change.

Problematic Patterns

Numerous clients have come to me because they’ve found that as a result of the outer chaos in the world, the pandemic, the social isolation, the fear indoctrination, the division of people and dualistic thinking, they’ve resorted to leaning on self-destructive behaviors to numb emotions and letting distractions keep them in familiar dysfunctional patterns.

These patterns, aka coping tools, are alcohol, social drug use, food, technology, sex, exercise, gambling, shopping and screen time.  This is nothing new.  I’d venture to say that most of us have used one or more of these recently as their own coping mechanism.

Terri Cole, licensed psychotherapist, wrote about a therapist friend who recently told her a story that illustrates her work called shadow addictions perfectly.

She said she had a client who came to her saying she had a drinking problem. When she inquired how much alcohol the client was consuming daily, the client replied, “I have one Scotch nightly.” When the therapist seemed a little confused, the client went on to say, ”But every other minute of the day, I think about taking that drink.”

You can see how this is a problem.

Thoughts Become Things

We have undoubtedly heard numerous times that what you think about you bring about. This is true.  Yet what do you do during those times when you’re caught up in others reality?

Despite being a Mind Empowerment Coach running my private practice for 13 years, teaching a program I created from scratch that has changed hundreds of men and women’s lives, I too have struggled.  Granted, in May of 2020 I called off a wedding, moved out, moved into my parents’ home to be their caretaker, mom who had Alzheimer’s died a year later, and now caring for my father has added an incredible amount of responsibility and an insurmountable amount of decisions to my life.

Did I think all of this into a reality, or is there something else going on behind the scenes that affect the outcomes I experience?  I think both.

Just this morning I found it interesting that after I had a talk with myself, as a result of admitting how I am dealing with my own desire to escape my stress with food, some wine, and Facebook time, I told myself, “Lori, you’re in a pattern that’s becoming problematic. It’s time to face what’s really going on.”

After that admittance, I found that I was getting “divinely” connected to resources to help me move out of this state of mind and behavior. I came across a podcast online that really helped me go deep within myself to look at what I was feeling.  I cried.  I came to terms with what I was facing. And then I took some time to walk through that dark tunnel, asking myself, “Is that the full truth?  What else might be going on?  What might you be afraid of?  What options do you have?  How can you feel better today?”

The Struggle Is Real

As a Mind Coach I teach my clients to really think through their thoughts, because most often they are not the whole truth. What you feel often triggers old beliefs, old statements that are so stupid when you actually hear yourself think them.  We far too often bring the past into our present and keep that old crap we thought we dealt with and let die, resurrect it’s nasty essence again. We often believe the lies we tell our self. The good part is that when you KNOW YOU’RE DOING IT, you can change the pattern. When you catch yourself starting to slide down that slippery slope heading into your minds abyss of negativity and emotional duress, you can pull yourself out before you’re in so dang deep.

So without sharing too many details that aren’t necessary to make my point, I will make this one.  FOCUS IS EVERYTHING! When I focus on all I need to do, what’s not working out as I want, and look too far ahead I crumble.

Just recently I was venting to a dear friend about how I feel like I take one step forward thinking I’m close to the finish line, then I find I am given another unexpected step to take. It feels like I’m working hard but experiencing no progress.

And to be fair, when you feel the intensity from numerous frustrations, you generalize, as if it’s true all the time.  Like saying I am experiencing NO progress, thinking selectively about the areas that I am not able to find positive resolve.  In reality I am experiencing progress in SEVERAL areas.  Sort of like a Superstar.  But I sure don’t feel like one.

Shit Happens-Back To The Beginning

I called an estate planner to help me with my dad’s needs.  He was not an elder law expert and referred me to someone else.  I researched this attorney and did not want to call because they had bad reviews.  In doing more research I made another appointment with a highly rated elder law attorney, or so I thought.  They did a zoom meeting with my dad and me with the office manager.  She showed us a PowerPoint of their packages but none of my questions were answered.  I was almost more confused after than before the appointment.  Back to the beginning.

Shortly after that, the new invisaliners I purchased were not fitting right. After 3 phone calls, 2 hours of my time, unfortunately I need to get them redone, a 4 week wait. When I first ordered them there was a hiccup as well, a 6 week delay. Fortunately they were quite sympathetic, helpful, and thorough, wanting me to have a good product in my possession. Back to the beginning.

Within the same week I made an appointment with a dentist thinking I needed a couple fillings replaced as my bite felt off and I was getting headaches.  The dentist said my fillings were worn down but the bite was even.  She didn’t think that my fillings or my bite being off were the cause of headaches. She referred me to a TMD clinic to evaluate my jaw.  I thought she was crazy.  I had no jaw pain. Well I agreed to go anyway.   My intuition said that even if I didn’t need anything for my jaw, I could have a chanced encounter that would be advantageous. I actually told a client that very same thing the day before.

“Something good is going to happen.”  Believe it, and you do, more often than not, experience something good.

Amazingly, the clinic called and could get me in the next morning.  I moved things on my calendar around and went.  During my appointment with the assistant, we had a discussion about a few things outside of my issue.  She gave me information for a product that I believe that a couple people, a client and a family member could really benefit from.  If I had to go through all that to be able to help them, then so be it.  Then it was not a wild goose chase and I feel good about the path that led me to gain that insight.  Oh, and by the way, the DDS referred me to another specialist.  My jaw issue is still on the table. Back to the beginning.

Shit Happens-Change Is Good

As a result of all this stress, uncertainty, chaos, and worldly conflict I’ve made one change above all others.  My life is more focused on being a conduit than trying so hard to get done what I think I’m supposed to do. Each day I will do my best to listen to the voice within to guide me, more than ever before.  I will trust that what I need/want will be given to me if and when the time is right. I will flow far more than force the outcomes I think, my ego thinks, I need/want. I will focus on what’s most important TODAY, each day. I will leave yesterday behind and tomorrow’s troubles for tomorrow.

When I…

-step outside of fear, outside of that intensity that comes by focusing on a flippin’ “to do” list I wanted done a month ago that is never, EVER done…

-take a breather from those urgent tasks that need to get done but keep getting put off for legit reasons as well as just feeling burnt out, not up to dealing with it…

-tell myself that everything works out in some way, chill!…

– bring myself to a place of inner peace…

I make progress.  I think clearer.  I can make decisions.  I can do things even when I’m afraid.  I go easier on myself. And amazing things do get done, often in ways beyond what I could have imagined.

So, if you’re like most people, I’m sure you too do NOT want your life (or the world) to go back to what it was like before the pandemic in many ways.  I’m pretty confident that you’ve struggled too, that shit has happened in your life more than once in the last two years.  And as a result you’ve made some valuable changes over the last couple of years that we’re not foreseen.  And whatever positive changes you have or are making as a result of the great awakening that is happening, CONGRATULATIONS beautiful soul!  Change is Good, Keep on Keeping on!!!


Be a Blessing, Be Blessed, Be Well,

Coach Lori