Surviving the Midlife Attack

By mid-life many of us will face the surmounting turmoil of traumatic life events.  An escalation of emotional triggers caused by midlife attacks such as job loss, divorce, financial struggles, aging parents, death of loved ones and health scares will hit.  The anxiety brought on by an increasing climate of outer chaos, and inner assaults, can overcome even the most resilient and optimistic of people who are getting older.  To some, it may seem as if the problems keep getting bigger and solutions smaller as crises takes its toll on a person’s ability to stay calm and in control. How do we manage?

The prime time for break downs, burnout and building stressors is mid-life and leads to problems such as anxiety, chronic worry, sleepless nights, fear, doubt and an inability to function in day to day life.  Not only that, it seems to affect the ability to be happy and to know what you want, need and value at a deep and soulful level. 

People who feel as if they’ve become robots as they age, seem to be going through the motions required to survive, yet are living more of an empty, isolated, and corps-like life. A person can feel terribly alone even when they have numerous friends, family members and social circles; thinking no one understands.

Life’s problems can derail us—yet they can also prompt a person to evaluate and resurrect what matters most in life.  Mid-life, and in reality, anytime we face struggle or a crossroad, is a point where one must go deeper, asking important questions about the meaning of life, what is my purpose, why am I here?  This period of assessment is an ideal opportunity to sift out of your life what is now worthless, and assure that you are living authentically; the life you desire most. 

“During a time in my life when I was burning out and dealing with an increasing level of challenges that became more than I could handle, I came to understand how it feels to just want to give up, to leave this world and be done.  The emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion was perceived by me as being beyond my ability to handle with effectiveness.  My body was on strike and shutting down; telling me it was time for change.  I listened!”  Lori Bestler

Struggles can force change, and they can inspire a fresh start. Each day becomes a chance for a new beginning that can promote seeking and defining your individual truth apart from what you were taught.  Often a person during hard times seeks a stronger spiritual dimension in their life as well.  Some people become more self-aware.  They can take more risks, worry less about pleasing everyone and become more selective of their social circles. Relationships are much richer as a result.

After a person has walked through the wilderness, ended their sabbatical, and has risen up above all the toil realizing that the stock market can crash, the economy can sink, homes, jobs and loved ones can be lost, pension plans can be emptied too soon, and in spite of it all they conclude that you can always begin again.  Renewal can strengthen courage, increase compassion, and enhance motivation to move in a new direction; new career, new relationship, or a new location.  This is a perfect time to rewrite your world view.

 Mid-life analysis can produce a profound personal acceptance of one’s self. Through the journey we are able to shape beliefs that better fit personal experience and intuition. No longer wanting to be a carbon copy of what family, friends, or anyone else thinks, a feeling of being set free can arise.  Ultimately, the next chapter of life becomes richer as the enlighten awareness of what matters most to you is clear.

Four Steps for Moving Beyond the Struggle

The most critical question to ask is; how do we manage in the face of struggles so that we don’t fall apart or sink into the minds abyss, unable to cope?  Here’s how.

1.  Take time off—after a shock, assess what just happened.  Feel the pain.  It’s an alarm prompting you to notice what it is that you believe about what happened, what didn’t happen that you wish it would have, and begin imagining what your future might look like moving forward.

2.  Seek out healthy supporters—assure that you have a person in your life that is a useful influence; encouraging, understanding, listening, and is a wise advisor to help you muddle through the murky emotional waters. A strong supporter will help you avoid the drop offs and arrive safely at a place of clarity, competence and confidence to navigate the next steps and move forward.

3.  Believe in the best outcome—whether a person can comprehend a best case scenario picture of the future in the landscape of their mind depends on what perspective they create from the event.  The reaction to offences, surprise attacks and setbacks sets the stage for everything that follows; success, health, and well-being.  A person could think, “Why does my life keep getting worse?” and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.  Another person could think, “There must be a valuable purpose in all of this. I know it will get better in time.” And it usually does. Having faith in what is not seen is powerful.

Read motivational stories of people who overcame obstacles to strengthen that faith muscle.  Devotionals are good resources to uplift and put thoughts back in proper perspective.

4.  Remember your successes—when you reflect on the moments in the past that you felt were unbearable yet endured them, grew from them, and in some ways realized that life is better as a result, you can keep going.  Moving beyond and looking beyond current challenges requires the ability to feel competent and confident in your ability to thrive in the face of tragedy and still enjoy life.

Should you find yourself in need of a strong supporter, good guidance, and a person who can help you sift through your struggles and begin to live a richer and more meaningful life, contact Lori for a No Cost Coaching Consultation.

Stop the struggle and start living.  Contact Lori Now!


Lori Bestler is a nationally recognized Mind EmPowerment Coach, Award Winning Motivational Speaker, Corporate Trainer, and Self Help Recording Artist with MindScapes Unlimited.

Lori has helped to transform thousands of men and women’s lives through her Strategic Mind System of Success, Rapid Results Coaching Program and Audios, Retreats, Seminars and Speaking engagements. She specializes in working with high level entrepreneurs and independent business professionals with busy minds as well as empathic and high sensory individuals. Lori helps clients overcome barriers in thought patterns, limiting beliefs and behavior which can lead to issues such as stress, anxiety, negative thinking, and weight problems, lack of focus and follow-through, and procrastination.  Clients experience results in areas such as financial success, improved relationships, confidence, high self-esteem, stress reduction, behavior change, better health, and greater fulfillment in life.  Ms. Bestler runs a private coaching and hypnotherapy practice in Anoka, MN, assisting clients in the Minneapolis, St. Paul and surrounding Twin Cities Metropolitan Areas, as well as all over the U.S.

© Mindscapes Unlimited Mind Coaching Center