Try Again

Have you ever faced earth shaking trials and tribulations in life, or been traumatized by the relentless hardships?  Maybe you’ve been overcome by some debilitating struggles, wondering if it would ever get better.  And maybe it was so bad that you just wanted to die and end this misery?  Illness, job loss, divorce, financial struggles, mental disorders, loss of loved ones, catastrophic tragedies, abuse, aging parents, old age, and the list goes on.  How do you perceive these occurrences in life that we all will experience in some way, some day?  Do you do your best to escape them? Do you think you’re planning and preparation in life can avoid them?  I doubt it.  Yet I encourage you to not to worry about them.  Instead embrace them when they happen.   I dare say these are blessings in disguise.

 You will never truly know yourself and your ability until both are tested by adversity.  You will never understand the magnitude of a Divine presence I call God that loves you and is waiting to assist you until you completely crumble, surrender and fully seek it; often from your knees.  Struggles can cause you to feel like you’re in quicksand.  This suffocating pit of despair, can easily steal your dreams, barely leaving any crumbs, morsels of hope to hang on to.  Yet in time, you will see the blessing in those burdens of life.  You emerge wiser and stronger.  Your higher perspective enables you to be clearer about the grand scheme of things.  Soon your resurrected spirit is ready to soar, courageous and unwilling to compromise or settle for what no longer serves your health, happiness, and well-being.

I remember when, after two years wandering in the wilderness of isolation, I realized that it was time to step back out into the world that caused me so much pain.  It was after reading a quote by Anais Nin “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” that I knew I was ready to blossom again.  Being in a place where I was not growing, not learning, not meeting new people, not trying new things was becoming very painful. Isolation was not me. I had been a high achiever, a doer, a world changer in many ways.  I had purpose. Being alone was not it!

Those barren times were protecting my bruised ego, my wounded self-esteem, and my broken heart after mounting inner turmoil being a silent suffer as I struggled in school with memorization and tests, ADHD, a 7 year battle with eating disorders, weight highs and lows, job loss-dislocated worker after 14 years, an emotionally abusive marriage of 20 years to an alcoholic, divorce, single parenting, small business startup struggles, financial struggles, and more. 

For a couple years I chose to stay safely in my small sphere of friends-tight in the bud, on a sabbatical.  I was healing in my cocoon, removed from those that were tormentors, critical and judgmental people, religious and self-righteous persecutors, joy stealers, abusive and dominating individuals that had exhausted my spirit for far too long. My way of coping, of dealing with the complexities of life had not worked; my tool chest was full of rusty and worn out tools. I was sick physically, worn out mentally and emotionally, and my spiritual presence wanted deeper truth that no one seemed to provide me.  I needed time to cast out the old to make room for the new.  The time I took to create a new reality for myself was invaluable.

Another quote of Nin’s is “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”  I had lost my courage.  I had shrunk a bit, avoiding the pitfalls of people pleasing, conformity, fear and self-criticism. 

Yet now, refreshed, renewed, and spiritually enlightened, this time around, blooming and blossoming, I would rise above this worldly abyss.  I would not let others write the story for me of what my life should be, anymore.  I was set free to be whomever I desired to be, with whom I desired to be with, and doing what my soul deeply yearned for.  I would no longer curse my destiny, criticize myself, or feel guilt or shame for being me, for thinking the way I do, for believing in what I do, and for making the decisions I make.  I would settle on my belief that everything is a teacher.  Nothing in the past, present or in the future is wasted.  I was reborn and ready to step out into the loins den, yet this time, without the fear I once had.  My courage was now ferocious.  I was on a mission to fulfill more dreams, being unstoppable.  I knew I would face troubles, yet this time from a whole new perspective.  I knew I could create a new chapter in my life, my new reality, that would both prosper my soul and life.  I was being real, honest, health conscious, happy, and truly being who I wanted to be, doing what I wanted to do.

Out of my struggles, my life story of overcoming, I created a new career, developed an amazing life transforming coaching program and audio series, and am speak nationally about my lessons learned to impact life-changing results in the people’s lives I touch. 

Life is full of many “do overs”.  There is no limit.  There is no shame.  Start again, and again.  This is the journey of life that shapes us, teaches us, and reveals to us what makes life worth living.  We are worthy of love, worthy of experiencing the awe in a world of unfolding miracles. We are each valuable.  We each have something to bring into the world that is worthwhile.  Illumination, imagination, contribution, compassion, there is so much to offer. 

Never, ever, ever, feel you’re insignificant.  NEVER!

Never, ever, ever, feel you’re unlovable.  NEVER!

Never, ever, ever, feel you’re incapable of starting over.  NEVER!

Cast those fears, doubts, and self-judgments aside.  They serve no benefit to anyone.  Surely there are second chances in life; new beginnings, fresh starts, for people every day. These “next chapters” in life are those magical moments when you get to reassess your reality, eliminate the beliefs that no longer serve you, and try again. 


About the Author

Lori Bestler; Mind Mastery Expert and Personal Development Guru, is a Strategic Mind Coach, Award Winning Motivational Speaker, and founder and owner of the MindScapes Unlimited Mind Coaching Center.

Lori has helped to transform thousands of individual’s lives through her Strategic Mind System of Success, Rapid Results Coaching Program and Mind Power Audios, and Speaking engagements. She specializes in working with high level entrepreneurs and independent business professionals with busy minds. Lori helps clients overcome barriers in thought patterns, limiting beliefs and behavior resulting in improving their business, relationships, health and state of well-being.  Ms. Bestler runs a private coaching and hypnotherapy practice in Lino Lakes MN, assisting clients in the Minneapolis, St. Paul and surrounding Twin Cities Metropolitan Areas, as well as all over the U.S