Who Wrote the Rule Book on what is “Right”?  By Lori Bestler


 Since the beginning of time human beings curiously sought answers to questions prompted by the spirit of their mind.  This morning was one such experience for me.

 For no apparent reason, I wondered if people are born with compassion and a conscience.  Certainly our upbringing and experience creates a culture that shapes them both.  However, upon deeper questioning with myself and a divine conversationalist outside my realm of clear comprehension, I asked more questions.

 Looking at the litter that has melted into the lawn where I was walking this early Spring morning, I picked up this piece of paper with the intention of throwing it away.  Taking a closer look, I noticed it was a tag from a jacket.  Because I was walking the field of a Jr. High school, I envisioned it belonging to a student who, without thinking about “littering”, likely tore the tag off their new jacket and threw it on the ground.  Yes, children need to be taught not to litter, don’t they?

 My thoughts wandered to thinking about how we are shaped as children.  I pictured a baby, who in the moment of not getting what it wants, cries.  Instinctively it knows when it is unhappy and cries or sometimes screams. This compelled me to assume that maybe we are not born with compassion or a conscience but feelings.  It is feelings that shape those qualities in time. 

 When our needs are not met as an adult, whose cognitive processes are more developed, we gain understanding of what it “feels” like in certain situations.  Feelings shape our interpretations and perceptions thus form our behavior and actions.  I have been taught through my Mind Training Certifications, that what we think and believe comes out in our body and behavior.

 When we are hurt, we learn what it is that people do and say that feels bad.  Ideally, we become more sensitive to what we do and say.  In turn our conscience is forming.  Humility is more times than not, grown out of misery and suffering, is it not?

 At the same time, what happens to the person who is treated poorly, surrounded by those parents, teachers, leaders that are not worthy of mirroring?  How then is ones conscience formed and how is it possible to develop compassion? 

 Through-out the world societies are shaped by their schools, churches, and communities that offer programs to expose people who have been left behind, to worthy values, morals, kindness, compassion, and love. 

 Numerous systems exist with varying values that teach their interpretation of what is right and wrong, good and bad.  Different cultures, can teach different rules of thought.  Yet in the end, at least “something” is being taught.  It may not be perfect, what is?  However, it is a growing, expanding, changing process of life to learn what is working and what is not working.  Each person has a responsibility to have internal checks and balances that align their desires with opportunities that can work in cooperation with others.

 Committed to being the best you can be, taking others needs and feelings into consideration, is what creates a civilized society.  Is that not what we all can say is “right”?

 So to bring a close to my curiosity and find resolve to my inquiries, I have concluded that even when I’ve perceptively been wronged by people who think they were doing what was “right”, I know one thing has happened.  I have learned valuable lessons to live by.  And, my interpretation of what is “right” will change throughout my life-time. 

 I have seen my clients change their view of what is “right” too, thank God.  Many who are abused or broken by encounters with controlling individuals that thought their “right” should be everyone else’s, have found freedom within the accepting walls of my private practice.  Often paralyzed by the ill formed messages that took root in childhood, numerous clients have learned how to pull the weeds in their subconscious mind that created a false self-identity, and rise up to their full potential.  What a blessing!  One way I teach this is through my F.I.T. Technique that I write about in my article titled “Stop the Stinkin’ Thinkin’ Self-Sabotage,” found on my website www.mindscapesunlimited.com.

 Ultimately, it is clear to me that it is critical for each individual to plant new seeds of thought in their mind each day.  Additionally, to question their interpretations and assess their perceptions before making quick biased conclusions.  We each have an obligation to sharpen the sword of our conscience and cut out actions that stifle compassion.  This requires challenging our point of view of what is right and wrong, good and bad, acceptable and not acceptable. 

 We must all go deeper into our reasoning and ask ourself “Why do we think, feel, and perceive the way we do?”  It is then we become useful to ourself and society, open minded, growing, changing, and living more cohesively versus in conflict and chaos.

 Stop the Insanity…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZEkENyx1Cg&feature=related

 So who writes the rule book on what is “right”?  You do!  Write a best seller!


 Lori Bestler with MindScapes UnLimited, is an Educator, Motivational Speaker, and Strategic Empowerment Coach, with more than 26 years’ experience in the human potential field. She has helped thousands of individuals and organizations peak perform and successfully make positive personal and professional life.  She maintains a part-time private practice in Stillwater, MN, where she offers a wide spectrum of services to aid clients in beliefs and behavior change to stop smoking and lose weight, reduce stress, and achieve personal and professional goals.

 Lori’s passion is in helping entrepreneurs and ambitious professionals with busy minds stop struggling with issues such as stress, anxiety, procrastination, insomnia, lack of focus and follow-through and negative thinking.  She is the creator of the MindScapes Coaching System for Success®.  This three tier program includes Strategic Empowerment Coaching, Mind Training Techniques, and MindScapes™ mind programming audios. She is currently working on a book that offers a 21st Century understanding of how thinking patterns can cause illness and severely limits potential. 


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