How to Live Life “UNcomfortable” and Love It!!! by Lori Bestler-Speaker and Strategic Mind Coach with MindScapes Unlimited
Be Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable. WHAT!?!?!?!?!?
Yes, you can live a fulfilling, healthy and successful life from your UNcomfortable zone. It’s all about perception and being confident about where you want to go, what you want to do and who you want to be…by the way, that’s called living a purposeful life as your most authentic self. So many of us are lead to believe we must step out of our comfort zone in order to grow, which is true. A colleague and friend once told me, “Lori, there is no growth in the comfort zone and no comfort in the growth zone!” Profound and true! It’s not easy to feel increasingly uncomfortable with change, and you can become fearful just by the thought. However, I would like to transform that thinking a little bit right now.
It’s amazing what will happen when you change your perception of what your comfort zone is and its purpose. When you understand this, you will automatically move beyond certainty. And when you’re in the midst of uncertainty you can program yourself to be so excited about stepping out into the unknown that you embrace the concept. You’ll notice that you will want to try new things more and more…even and especially when you feel Uncomfortable.
So what is your comfort zone? Our comfort zone is a safe place where we do things automatically without much effort or thought. It is easy to live in our comfort zone. Then again, is it really?
Think about your routine and habits.
¨ Wake up to alarm in morning
¨ Make coffee, shower, brush teeth, fix hair
¨ Drive to work (or work from home) and perform your 9-5 routine
¨ Drive home, make dinner, do dishes
¨ Eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at similar times; usually eat fairly the same foods
Think about the useless habits you strengthen:
¨ like smoking routinely by smoking when you wake up, at breaks, in car, on computer at home, on phone.
¨ like snacking on chips, crackers, cupcakes, candy and other emotional filler foods on auto pilot, when you feel sad, nervous, frustrated, and tired for example.
¨ like telling your self that you are stupid, inferior, not worthwhile, a failure, incapable, a bad person, and have nothing to offer others; “Stinkin’ Thinkin”.
In your Comfort Zone, you know what you are doing and when. Routines make us comfortable because we know what to do each day and when, almost without thinking or effort. Does that make living in your comfort zone easy?
Chew on this; when you’re so comfortable you often become bored, unfulfilled, crabby, quit growing, quit experiencing the exciting, get sick, get fat, start having poor health issues, and you feel miserable more often then you feel good. Life is actually “HARD” when you live from your comfort zone 24/7.
Routines become ruts. When you do what you’ve always done you get what you’ve always gotten. I’ve heard both Tony Robbins and Zig Ziglar be credited with that quote. And bottom line, if nothing changes, nothing changes. And if life is not what you want it to be, emotionally, spiritually, physically, personally or professionally, then something needs to change. And the first change that needs to take place is getting comfortable with being UNcomfortable. It is time to step out of your comfort zone, think differently, believe differently and take different action.
I’ve heard so many clients say that they have tried “everything” to change. I believe they believe that deeply. So have I in the past. And what I discovered is that in trying by way of my own willpower never lasted long. I also found that even my strong faith in God was insufficient to affect lasting change in my thoughts, beliefs, and actions. Why? Because what I knew consciously did not penetrate my subconscious thoughts and beliefs. I found that if I wanted lasting positive change I also needed to tap into the power of my subconscious mind, and I needed someone other than myself to help me do that in the beginning of my transformation.
If conscious thoughts and actions were all that were necessary for good health, success, and satisfaction, we’d all be wealthy geniuses. Conscious thinking is not only constructive, it’s also destructive. Conscious thinking involves routine, creating patterns and programs us to live by our beliefs systems and internal auto pilot standards.
All too often, we become ensnared by the familiar phenomenon:
- We make rules because someone said, and may or may not make sense.
- We follow these rules as conformists and people pleasers.
- Time passes and rules root in our thinking.
- The original reasons for the rules may no longer exist, but because the rules are still in place, we continue to habitually follow them.
- The rules we live by in our mind are made by perceptions that are generalizations, distortions, and deletions; I call half truths.
Here’s a quick exercise to help you identify what makes life worth living.
Take out a blank sheet of paper and a plain pencil. This works best when you’re honest with yourself. The first thought that pops in your head before the conscious mind can over analyze, is what you write down. You can clarify, alter, refine later. Play some relaxing music. Be sure you’re calm, and not rushed.
Just quickly and freely begin writing down:
- things that bring you energy
- things that people say about you; your natural gifts and expertise
- what should, shouldn’t, cant’s, “have to”, beliefs you live by
- those “useful” beliefs, that are helping you live a healthier, happier, and more successful life (often they begin with I can, I am)
- thoughts you think repeatedly that are emotionally draining, make you feel sad, angry, frustrated, unhappy, bitter, worthless, incapable (often begin with I can’t, a negative-I am or I am not; good enough)
- how you would like to feel instead
- who is in your life that helps you feel valued, loved, grow, is honest and wise
Each person has their own comfort zone, periodic chaos, and challenges. Each person has their own personality and perceptions. We are all unique. We choose different business paths; wear different clothes; drive different cars; have different viewpoints, likes and dislikes–our approach to living life is as unique as our fingerprints.
Now realize that what you wrote down is very likely a broad and generalized group of statements. When I work with clients, it amazes them how deeply we can go to determine what they truly desire at a subconscious level.
The key to living life within those parameters you define, is that it usually is not what you’re doing. And that then requires change. Change, of course, is uncomfortable. Living from your UNcomfortable zone is all about giving yourself permission to find the right fit for you. And when you do, you will live the abundant life you desire, not stuck in routine. Since we are all different, I encourage you to embrace the concept of living from your uniqueness and Uncomfortable zone.
Habits make life easy, and eventually you will develop a habit of living your own life, going your own way, free to think your own thoughts and shape your own beliefs. People who disagree with you will not have power over you, as you allow them to think and believe what they want too.
I once was given a book by a friend, “Awareness, The Perils and Opportunity in Reality by Anthony De Mello. Now he liked the book so much, he gives it to many people struggling with addiction. I read it and almost threw it away before finishing it. Yet, I didn’t. Why? Because it added value to him and I was curious what it was. Maybe it would be found toward the end of the book.
Even though it was not one I’d recommend, I did take away an insight that made me pause and think more deeply about. So often we are told to not be selfish. Having been raised Catholic, and also told that divorce is against God’s will, I felt tremendous guilt and shame for divorcing an alcoholic. This belief traumatized me for years. I’ve since worked through that, found my own faith which is nothing short of amazing, and have come to my own realization of the fact that protecting your self mentally, emotionally, physically and even spiritually is not selfish. And we all much find the best path to find protection in a healthy way.
The author said this, “Part of waking up is living your life as you see fit. And understand; that is not selfish. Selfishness lies in demanding that someone else live their life to suit your tastes, your pride, your profit, or your pleasure.” This mindset allows you to not feel obligated to be with people you do not enjoy being with. It gives you permission to avoid people and events that give you negative feelings, and say “no.” When we get caught in dictating to others how they should be and behave, it means we want to be comfortable. When people want to shape each other to conform, to profit, to fulfill their own paradigm of what is best, it just might be cruelty at some level.
List 3 ways you are unique. Here are some key points to think about while making your list.
What are you good at and love to do?
- Be grateful for your style, skills and passions. Refrain from taking them for granted. Not everyone does what you do. What skills and talents you have?
What do you have a desire to do but never have done?
- If you have a difficult time writing these down, think about new hobbies, an unfinished task that has been put off; I call joy stealers, a place you would love to visit, a club you’d like to join to make new friends and grow together in specific area. What do you enjoy doing?
What do you stand for?
- What is unique about you and what you strongly believe? Life is full of dual interpretations and beliefs. What are yours and why are they important? When you know that, you can stand strong in spite of opposition, which will inevitably be there throughout life. I tell my clients and audiences that standing up for what you believe is not an action intended as a fight, it is a means of getting your passionate message out. Your voice states your beliefs, ideas that you want others to believe in too, not for the sake of self serving self-edification or profit, but for the purpose of positive change and positive influence, likely because it has helped you too. Life matters and a voice that stands up for the preservation and betterment of all living things, is worth speaking about and living for.
Living in your UNcomfortable zone is a process of simply perceiving the change you are experiencing as a positive and necessary action for growth, health, happiness, and success, not only for yourself but others as well.
When you give yourself permission to live the life you want, and embrace the challenges that come with change and being uncomfortable, you can move forward confidently.
Now as I mentioned in the beginning of my article, change that is conscious, focused on using willpower seldom works. I have learned that in times where making changes in your life makes you feel VERY Uncomfortable (When your conscious mind may tell you that what you want to do or are going through is no big deal but your body lets you know your subconscious mind thinks differently; rapid heart beat, sweaty palms, anxiety, you need two things.
2. Subconscious Change
With 12 years experience developing and leading a team of over 200 nationally recognized consultants, I saw time and time again that what was going on in a persons mind directly affected what they achieved in life.
My personal journey of numerous struggles proved to me that the mind has the power to cause physical illness. My success also taught me that the mind has the power to help us heal our bodies and achieve our passionate goals and dreams.
To move beyond my illness and challenging relationships and step into my UNcomfortable zone to improve my life, I needed to change my thoughts and beliefs on a much deeper level than ever before. I needed to change my thought patterns that were deeply rooted in my subconscious mind and were adversely ruling my life. I also needed to set new goals and take different action to move forward and step into the life I passionately desired. This all required change, being uncomfortable, and getting positive support. I hired a couple coaches and a hypnotherapist. I also became certified in hypnosis and Neuro Linguistic programming to alter the landscapes of my mind first then began helping others to form thoughts in a more useful fashion.
Personally, I also needed to alter my brainwaves. Being diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 41, I went through a traumatic experience of testing numerous medications to help me “think” more effectively which failed miserably. Finally after a 2 year battle, and finding a new medical practitioner, I was prescribed a medication that brought some positive resolve but not without other negative effects. I relentlessly sought alternatives for four years and found my solution-sound therapy. That pathway to personal healing enabled me to create a powerful line of audios to help people in areas I’ve struggled with. They definitely work. I use them consistently. Instead of medication, I listen to audios, monitor my nutrition, and work my own Strategic Mind Coaching Program. This is not about profit, even though it is my career and pays my bills. More so, my work is my passion, my mission field to help others looking for ways to be their best self possible, where western medicine and therapy has not quite resolved your challenges. I do not treat diseases, I treat dis-ease, the uncomfortable state we often want to escape from. I help you help yourself by using the natural power of the mind to gain control of your life.
Today I offer MindScapes™ Audios, the amazing solution I found that helps people make positive changes in beliefs and behavior, to gain the clarity, confidence and competence necessary for unlimited success and well-being.The results have been astonishing! By helping those dearest to me with their challenges and discomfort I am now able to bring these benefits to you as well.
Do you struggle with Stress, Lack of Confidence, A Racing Mind, Procrastination, Worry, Self-Doubt, or Negative Thinking? Do want more energy, more peace of mind, more focus and more success? Start finding relief today with MindScapes™ audios.
To order your very own audio recording and start finding positive resolve to your problem, go to http://www.mindscapesunlimited.com/products.html .
To set up your no cost consultation and to find out more information about how Strategic Mind Coaching can help you make positive and long lasting changes in your life go to www.mindscapesunlimited.com or call Lori at 651-464-9034.
This article was written by Lori Bestler-Strategic Mind Coach and Award Winning Motivational Speaker with MindScapes Unlimited.
Lori Bestler CH, NLP specializes in helping entrepreneurs and business professionals with busy minds maximize their potential, maintain peace of mind, and live life as their most highest self. She teaches people the mechanics of the mindset that enables them to overcome barriers in beliefs and behavior to achieve peak performance, greater health, wealth, and well-being. Through the incorporation of practices from business and life coaching, hypnotherapy, Neuro linguistic programming, sound therapy and stress management, along with her studies in cognitive processes, self-motivation, and positive psychology, Lori has helped thousands of individuals who are committed to live the life they desire most, achieve unlimited success. Ms. Bestler has a private practice in Lino Lakes assisting clients in Minneapolis, St. Paul and surrounding Twin Cities Metropolitan Areas. For a no cost consultation contact Lori at www.mindscapesunlimited.com.
©2009-12 MindScapes UnLimited www.mindscapesunlimited.com 651-464-9034
Lori Bestler is a nationally recognized Mind Empowerment Coach, Award Winning Motivational Speaker, Corporate Trainer, and Self Help Recording Artist with Mindscapes Unlimited.
Lori has helped to transform thousands of men and women’s lives through her Strategic Mind System of Success, Rapid Results Coaching Program and Audios, Retreats, Seminars and Speaking engagements. She specializes in working with high level entrepreneurs and independent business professionals with busy minds as well as empathic and high sensory individuals. Lori helps clients overcome barriers in thought patterns, limiting beliefs and behavior which can lead to issues such as stress, anxiety, negative thinking, and weight problems, lack of focus and follow-through, and procrastination. Clients experience results in areas such as financial success, improved relationships, confidence, high self-esteem, stress reduction, behavior change, better health, and greater fulfillment in life. Ms. Bestler runs a private coaching and hypnotherapy practice in Anoka, MN, assisting clients in the Minneapolis, St. Paul and surrounding Twin Cities Metropolitan Areas, as well as all over the U.S.
For more information contact us on the tab at the top of the website. Ask for a complimentary Rapid Results 60 Minute Phone Coaching Consultation.
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