It’s time to set goals, and you’re so excited about all the possibilities of a better life! Then it happens!  Obstacles, unforeseen challenges, road blocks you cannot clearly see how to get around, begin to surface in your day.  What happens next?  For most people, sadly, they get stuck in a self-sabotaging rut, possibly anxiety ridden, and consumed with negative self-talk.  They begin to wonder if they’ll ever realize what they really want.  And in desperation, question “Why is it taking so long?” 

Difficult relationships, never quite realizing the success you desire, having way too many tasks on your to do list and feeling like you seldom finish what you start, are some of the biggest reasons people quit setting goals. They fall into the mindset of “It never works, so why try?”

How do you escape this negative thinking pattern to realize your New Year Resolutions and Dreams?   

Be Mentally Prepared!

Be prepared because it happens to almost everyone I know who sets big goals and New Year Resolutions…their thoughts trail off onto dwelling on everything that is wrong.  They look at those who are appearing to be successful and think they are not measuring up. Then they feel heavy laden, tired, exhausted, and when they think about the future its full of fear, doubt, and imagining the worst.

It’s critical to realize that your perception lies!  People you think have it all together have problems too.  And imagining that there are others who are more blessed, talented, and living an easier life than you will only make matter worse.  I find that every client that comes to see me gets caught up in the comparison trap, and believes there is something wrong with them. They feel inadequate because of it!!!

An important point to remember is:

When you feel afraid, sad, lonely, depressed, doubtful, broke, sick, or scared, it somehow seems that you’ve always been afraid, sad, lonely, depressed, doubtful, broke, sick and scared.  NOT TRUE!!!  This feeling is a trap.

Know that the same is often true when you feel happy, really happy, and you feel that you’ll always be happy.

Good times come and go.  It’s what enables us to be more aware human beings. You will not appreciate success nearly as much if it was laid in your lap.  When you understood hard work before success, your appreciation is much greater. Through living your life, you have identified many aspects of what you like and dislike, and it is important to remember that none of those things you dislike can affect your experience without focused attention.  Everyone has the freedom to choose what they give their attention to, and therefore what they choose to experience each moment.

Whenever you feel like a powerless captive of some condition-realize that you are clinging onto a negative perception and giving strength to useless thoughts that can lead to feeling worried, being angry, and begin self-loathing, self-pity.  When that happens catch yourself, recognize the pattern and stop the stinkin’ thinkin’.  All these negative states are a useless waste of thought energy that saps our joy, buries our potential, and ruins our lives whenever we embrace their empty promise of empowerment.  These thoughts are dis-empowering and can lead to failure and and worse dis-ease.

What if you’ve been trying to stop and the harder you try the harder it is?  This is how the insanity of thought processes function.

By contrast, real power comes by way of knowing that we already possess everything we need to succeed in any moment. If you and I possessed the power in our mind to turn non-material into material, or dreams into reality as theorists in the field of quantum physics profess, than we must really think deeply about that.  If you were thinking about problems and more problems, and have your view finder in your head focused on seeing everything that is not the way you want it and perceive it to be wrong, what is going to happen if that materializes just by thinking about it?  Yes you already see problems, yet what if your attracting more of the same?  How do you shift to a higher level of attraction, to attract solutions, the stuff dreams are made of?

Shaping our mindset, the guiding principles that keep us centered, at peace and full of faith that what we believe in deeply we can bring into our life somehow.  What keeps me centered is my faith, reading morning devotionals, praying and seeking new revelations in my quite time.  I read almost everyday, something inspiring and something that will move me beyond the limits of my worldly thinking and rise up into the realm of spirit, of what is not yet materialized but known in my heart.  What can throw us off is our unmet expectations, thinking that our limited mind understands all the steps and knows exactly what will come to pass from moving toward our dreams.  Often we are prompted to move in one direction that teaches us something to be prepared for whats ahead.  

We cannot project every aspect of what will happen in the process of realizing what we imagine.  We need to trust that its all beneficial.  That there is nothing such as failure.You cannot get it wrong.  Everything is a teacher and is offering feedback to use in the next chapter of your life.  We need to realize that dreams never are clear cut and uncertainty will be ever present so stop trying to feel secure.  This helps us be more patient with challenges and setbacks in the process.  We grow into our dreams, like a seed planted in the soil.  It sprouts, it grows, and soon it needs to be pruned and transplanted into a bigger pot because it’s become so large.  The plant has no idea as to the speed of its growth, how many branches or buds it will have.  It just grows.  We need to just grow and go with the flow instead of trying to predict and perfect every step.

Let’s examine this important idea.

We’ve all seen what happens when — due to “unscheduled changes”, “unplanned circumstances”— our power source is suddenly unplugged. We either collapse into powerlessness, or scramble around frantically searching for ways to feel in control and empowered. Either way, we remain a captive of these reactions.

Real power lifts us above challenging circumstances; it enables us to move past fears that want to keep us stuck in a rut and cast off stinkin’ thinkin’ thoughts about the past, today, and tomorrow.

Real power is the quiet but certain understanding that everything that comes to us works for the good of us, no matter what it is.  Every experience is a teacher, and every situation is an opportunity to grow from. Open your eyes, go deeper than the obvious to see the blessings and you will find them!

And when other people make choices that seem to negatively impact your experience, remember that they remain only by your continuing to give attention to them.  Instead of giving your attention and energy away as you focus on another persons problems that they are the creator of, start looking at what you can control.  What CAN you do, versus thinking about what you cannot control.

Just the other day I was getting frustrated with someone I care about.  He is constantly telling me about his health problems.  His approach to improving health is by first using medications. Then when that works he said he will go to more natural means. And it’s not working and he keeps increasing the dose. I on the other hand am against medications as a first resort, and prefer more natural remedies.  We’ve had this conversation many times and we find ourselves back at the same place each time.  I’ve come to the resolve that you cannot want more for someone than they want for there self.  And even though I want this person to be healthier to enjoy activities that require being physically fit, his choices are his.  

In this situation, as in several in the past, I’ve learned to move in a more positive and uplifting direction by using this one strategy…

I ask myself, “What do I really want?” and “What CAN I do to feel better about what I want?”  

I always find positive resolve when I dig deeper into my feelings.  I realized I want and can enjoy more physically demanding activities with other friends.  This is called letting go.  Once you let go of your need to “fix” another person or make them “see the light” according to your view of “right”, you can begin to live life according to your own terms.

There are many situations, attitudes, lifestyles—even food choices—that are not in your best interest to participate with.  Maybe you feel like you need to lose weight, or are addicted to sugar or junk food.  Maybe you’re an emotional over-eater.  Maybe you struggle with a busy mind, bouncing from one feel good task to another, never completing what really matters.  Maybe you procrastinate or deal with paper piles and a “to do” list that never shrinks.  Or just maybe you keep saying you’re going to exercise and this proclamation is telling you that you’re kidding yourself in your head, as it keeps being pushed aside.  Instead of thinking about these thought and experiences as being bad or wrong for you, which lowers your energy vibration and joy factor, simply view them as an awareness. Recognize them as being a thought, nothing more, nothing less.  Everything is a choice and when you realize why you chose one thing over another, frame the knowledge in a mindset of two categories; useful or useless.  Is this helping me be my highest, happiest, healthiest and most successful self? If it is useless, then think about something else that is useful?  Stop thinking about what you don’t want and start thinking about what you can do, and do it!

Realize that every choice has benefits in your minds eye.  We often have conflicting parts; one part of us wants to succeed-do something, the other part is afraid of failure-don’t do something.  Which part gets your attention?  Usually is it the useless one.  that is why hypnosis is so powerful.  For most of my clients who struggle in this area, getting unstuck on their own has been impossible and causes them to feel worse and worse about their abilities, their self-worth and doubt they are capable to realize their dreams. 

When you think of something as bad, and feel bad, you are sinking into the abyss of your mind.  You can get trapped in the dark thoughts of bad, wrong, shame, guilt.  These soul crushing feelings are not helping you live the life you love.  It’s important to understand that thoughts can be shifted in an instant to change feelings from sad to aware, and being aware and at peace helps you feel uplifted and grateful.  Why is being glad and grateful so important?  When was the last time you worked really hard to accomplish a goal when you felt badly about it?  It seems that the more badly you feel about something the more attention it gets.  The more attention your problems get, the more you want to avoid anything attached to it.  So to gain power in producing what you want, it stands to reason you want to be really excited and feel really good about it to attract what you want to yourself. That’s useful. The strongest emotion is like a magnet-drawing into your reality what is grabbing your attention most.  Emotions matter!

If you’re having trouble turning your thought life and reality around, and you’ve had this problem for a long time, then get some help. If you’re a perfectionist, a fixer, a people pleaser and problematically passive, get help to move out of these limiting behaviors. If this hits home, know that you’re not alone as you might think you are and you have a reason for being here that is important, a destiny uniquely yours that only you can fulfill.  If you’re stuck, get support to get unstuck.  Sometimes it takes more than a book to get you there.  Working with the subconscious mind, as in our Rapid Results Coaching Program, is a powerful tool for personal and professional transformation. Make today the day you begin to take hold of that and start living the GREAT life you’re called to be enjoying!

Looking to learn more about shaping your inner life for taking control of your life; health, wealth and well-being, contact Lori to set up a No Cost Phone Consultation.  And also join our email list for a FREE “Be Revived and Energized 10 minute MP3 download and Monthly Newsletter.

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This article was written by Lori Bestler-Strategic Mind Coach and Award Winning Motivational Speaker with MindScapes Unlimited Mind Coaching Center.

Lori Bestler, know as the Mind Mastery Expert specializes in working with high level entrepreneurs and business professionals with busy minds who are struggling to take more control of their life, very possibly feeling overwhelmed, unfocused and stressed out. She teaches people the mechanics of the mindset that enables them to overcome barriers in beliefs and behavior to improve health, wealth and well-being. Through her Strategic Mind Coaching program and speaking engagements, Lori has helped thousands of individuals live the life they desire most. For a no cost consultation contact Lori at And please join our email list for a FREE “Be Revived and Energized 10 minute MP3 download and Monthly Newsletter.

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